Relationships

Before the Wedding!

Posted in Featured, Relationships

We’re Engaged! Holidays bring engagements and all the excitement they offer us, both now and in the future.  Initially discussions between fiance’s often consists only of details about the wedding, day, venue, wedding party, or type of service.  Before beginning these discussions the couple should consider what their future will look like. Who is responsible for household duties? Will this change with a baby? Who makes financial decisions? One checking account or two? What about credit cards? How much money do each of you owe on credit cards, student loans, or any other outstanding...

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Suggestions For Healthy Arguments

Posted in Relationships

Suggestions For Healthy Arguments

We may not think that arguing is healthy in a marriage or relationship. It can be very valuable if it is done appropriately. You may want to discuss how to improve your communication during an argument before your next argument to improve potential for healthy change. Arguments can be just as successful done at normal volume and tone of voice. Yelling and screaming leads to further increased volumes and does not contribute to understanding. If all it took to fix the problem was yelling about it, it would have been fixed already. Cursing, name calling, disrespect and insults should be...

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Remember Passion?

Posted in Relationships

When I was working as a substance abuse counselor, relationships often developed something like this: guy meets girl, guy and girl immediately have sex with each other. Week 2: guy moves into girl’s trailer and meets girl’s kids. Week 4 or 5: Guy and girl are fighting most of time, guy insists he can’t stand girl or her kids. He is arrested for domestic violence after biggest fight they have had. Both were under influence, of course. Week 7: Girl kicks guy out of trailer. Guy meets different girl, they have sex with each other, drink with each other, and week 2, guy moves into girls’...

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Don’t Be Afraid of Conflicts

Posted in Relationships

One of the issues I hear repeatedly is people saying they are afraid of conflicts so they avoid dealing with problems. Many people say they are afraid of what will happen if they approach the issue. People seem to believe that they have almost no choice in solving problems with co-workers, spouses/significant other, or family members; either bury the issue and their feelings or it develops into an out-of-control situation. It’s sad that people don’t know that there is an appropriate way to dealing with conflict, and miles of middle ground between the passive, burying everything approach to...

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The Secret of Shame

Posted in Relationships

I recently had the misfortune to slip and fall, causing a bruised knee, scuffed chin, broken nose, and two black eyes. This of course, became quite a joke for many of my friends and family. Jokes about my inability to stay upright, jokes about my incredibly tolerant husband not being able to tolerate any more, me needing a cane, walker, handicapped status, as you see, there were plenty of jokes. Luckily for me, these were all jokes. My husband has never raised a finger against me and is a wonderful man. All of our friends know this, and there were no questions in the emergency room about how...

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On Loss and Regrowth

Posted in Death, Relationships

There are times in our lives when a loss of someone leaves a hole in our heart that can never be repaired. We feel the loss as acutely as a pulled muscle or stomach ache that will not end. What we fail to realize is the heart is ever changing, and while that space may never be filled, our heart will continue to grow and function. As we continue in our journey, we meet others that occupy another place in our heart, and though we may never have been able to imagine it, our heart grows and molds to allow this person to enter. Just when we felt that we could never love another, our heart expands...

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